Back when I was consulting full time I was taught something that was hugely helpful in improving my effectiveness as a consultant. But something that's also stood me in good stead from a marketing and business development perspective too.

It's something I think comes from Mahan Khalsa's book “Let's Get Real Or Let's Not Play”.

It's: “If you feel it, find a way to say it”.

Sounds simple, but incredibly powerful to use as a guide to your interactions with clients.

Like many consultants, I'm quite a rational type. I'm not super comfortable with conflict or anger or other emotional issues that sometimes arise in any business relationship.

So when I picked up that my client might be concerned about something, or angry, or disappointed or whatever; I tended to keep quiet.

“Let's not open that can of worms” I'd think to myself as I swept the issue under the carpet and acted as if nothing was wrong.

And, of course, that's rarely the right thing to do. It usually comes back to haunt you. Bad feelings fester and grow out of proportion to their causes until they become much more destructive than if they'd been addressed early.

The “if you feel it, find a way to say it” principle ecourages you to speak out if you sense something is wrong.

“I get the sense you're not fully comfortable with this plan…”

“It feels like something else may be worrying you right now, is that right…”

Having the courage to say what you're feeling or sensing gives your client a chance to open up (if they feel OK to do so) and almost always defuses situations that could become out of hand if left unchecked.

It works in business development too.

Often we pick up that our potential clients might not be fully bought in to what we're proposing. Or they may have some objections to our solution. Or they might just not believe what we're saying.

Usually, we get a feeling that something's not right. But usually, we ignore it too, plough on through, get to the end of the meeting unscathed, submit the proposal, and then find out later we didn't win the project.

Far better to say what we're feeling. Give your potential client a chance to get any issues they might have out on the table so you can address them.

You're much more likely to win a sale as a result, rather than just bulldozing past their objections.

Try it. If you feel it, find a way to say it.