…find a way to say it.

I first heard that from Mahan Khalsa in his excellent book “Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play” (which despite its title is actually about selling consultancy services).

In all honesty, I'm not the bravest of people in my interactions with others. I hate conflict and I try to avoid it.

But I've found that Mahan's technique works time and time again.

If you're feeling something is a bit off, get it out in the open. Find a way to say it (tactfully).

Usually a phrase like “You know, I get the feeling that you're not 100% certain about this deal” or “hmmm, I picking up the feeling that you've still got some reservations, is that right?” will work.

Then pause. Wait for them to answer. Give them some space.

Often it'll turn out your fears were mistaken.

But sometimes those gentle words are enough to get the other person to tell you what they're worried about but didn't want to say.  

If there's a genuine concern, far better to get it out on the table and address it than leave it festering away beneath the surface. Because at some point, it will come up.

And the later you leave it, the bigger an issue it will seem because the other person has been stewing away over it.

It's tough to deliberately force issues out into the open. Much easier to hope that if you plough ahead they'll go away.

But I've been around the block enough now to know those issues never go away.

So if you feel it, find a way to say it.