You know when you go to an event or you meet people you know and you ask them “how's business?”

Has anyone ever said to you “not that great” or “pretty bad really”?

No? Me neither.

No one wants to be seen as anything other than super successful. So we build this veneer around us so that we're never seen as anything but brilliant by the outside world.

And that's usually fine. In the absence of other evidence, some clients will interpret how well you look like you're doing as being how good you are at your job. A worn-out suit, battered briefcase and hangdog look don't send the right signals about how successful you'll be working together.

But many of us take it too far.

We go beyond giving a good impression to being petrified of seeming weak or needing help or being anything other than perfect.

It means we don't call old contacts to see how things are going because we don't want to “seem desperate”.

We spot opportunities where we could help clients in other ways but we don't bring them up because we don't want to look like we need the business.

We reach the end of sales discussions with clients and let it peter out because we don't want to seem “salesy” by asking the client if they're ready to start working with us.

But it's all in our minds. Calling up old contacts to explore opportunities is sensible business. Alerting clients to areas you could help is sensible business. Asking clients if they're ready to start is sensible business.

Clients don't think less of you because you ask. In fact if you don't, some will wonder why they're not hearing from you, why you're not identifying things that could help them, and what the point of the sales discussion was if you're not going to propose something.

** Our hesitancy to reach out to clients because we're woried how it might look is much more about us and our own insecurities than it is about them **

I guess there are a lot of things you could do to examine your inner motivations and issues to cure yourself of this.

But personally, I find that what works for me is when I find myself thinking this way to say to myself “get over yourself Ian”.

Stop being so darned self-centred. The world doesn't revolve around me or you and what everyone else thinks of us.

So just reach out and ask the questions that will get you more business and help your clients more.