A while ago I spoke at an annual convention for independent consultants on the topic of “Pain-Free Selling”.

At these sort of talks I usually ask the audience what they most hate about selling or marketing.

The usual answers are things like “feeling pushy”, “cold contacts”, “not being respected” or “closing”.

First out of the gate this time though was:

“The Whole Damn Lot”

Apart from being rather amusing, this is actually a pretty common feeling: a huge aversion to all things salesy.

If you feel like that – either a lot or a little – then here are a couple of tips that might help you.

Get Your Mindset Right

When most people go into sales meetings or make calls, their primary goal is to sell. To emerge from the meeting with a client.

That's not the best mindset for a professional to have.

It can often backfire. Your potential client will pick up that your goal is to sell them and their trust in you will drop.

When you recommend something a little voice at the back of their head will be asking “is he recommending this because he thinks it's best for us – or because he wants to sell us something?”

The best mindset for a professional is to enter the meeting with the goal of seeing if there is genuinely a good fit and whether it's right for you to work together.

In other words: make “no” an OK option.

Once you do this, you take off the pressure. Your potential client will trust what you say more.

You also seem less needy.

Paradoxically, by making “no” an OK option – you get more “yeses”.

Follow a Formula

Once you've got your mindset right, you can help overcome your nerves and discomfort by following a simple formula for your meeting.

Forget you're in a sales meeting for a moment. Act as if you're an independent advisor helping the client come to the right decision about what to do.

What sort of questions would you ask them?

You'd probably start off by asking questions to diagnose their problem, or figure out their goals or aspirations.

Then you'd probably discuss the impact of the problem or the gap between the goal and the current situation to see if it was worth addressing.

Then you'd look at what the action plan should be to address the issue – maybe talking about some of the potential barriers too.

You're going to do the same thing in this sales meeting.

You're just going to add one last question (one borrowed from best selling author Michael Port as it happens).

When you've discussed with the client and they've agreed what the action plan should be, you simply close by asking them:

“Would you like some help with that?”

Now this is not a world class sales technique. There's lots you could do to better it.

But it's simple. It doesn't feel uncomfrotable or pushy. It's something pretty much anyone can do.

And the results are not at all bad.

Chances are if you've asked smart questions and built trust and empathy through the discussion, then they'll say yes.

All without being pushy, manipulative or “salesy”.

Try it.