Back when I was running live training courses on marketing the number one thing my attendees said they wanted was to get “hot leads”. A steady stream of potential clients ready to buy right now.

Sounds great in theory. Who wouldn’t want to get in contact with lots of people ready to buy? Cuts out all that faffing about speaking to tyre-kickers and timewasters.

The trouble is, it's a huge mistake.

Focusing on potential clients who are ready to buy is a bit like a guy who wants to get married focusing all his attention on trying to chat up brides-to-be on the eve of their wedding.

After all, they're looking to get married, right?

Sounds ludicrous when you put it like that. A bride on the eve of her wedding may well be ready to get married. Just not to you.

And the same is true of potential clients.

Hiring a consultant or coach is a big decision. By the time someone is ready to buy they've already been through a lot of thinking and will be 90% emotionally committed to a supplier already.

Trying to butt-in at that point and get them to change their mind is like trying to persuade a bride on the altar that you'd be a better choice than the guy she's spent years dating.

Unless you're the George Clooney of your world, it's not going to happen.

And yet that's how most of us do our marketing.

Confession: that was me, rather more recently than I'd like to admit.

When I first started my own business I got pretty good at networking (despite not being a natural). I had the whole “elevator pitch” thing off pat and I knew the signs that would indicate I had a “hot prospect” on my hands.

And so I'd go from event to event meeting new people, sizing them up to see if they were a “hot prospect” and moving on if they weren't.

After months of doing this, it became pretty clear that it just wasn't working. My pipeline was dry and my discussions with the hot prospects turned to nothing.

I finally realised I was making a big mistake when I heard on the grapevine that a handful of the people I'd ignored because they weren't “hot prospects” had eventually hired someone to do what I could have done for them.

Doh!

Luckily for me, one thing I did do right was to invest in my own education.

I learned that there's a rather better way to build your business than constantly chasing hot leads.

It's to start a relationship when your potential partner is still open to dating.

For clients that means catching them when they first notice they have a problem or a new goal they want to achieve.

It means building credibility over time by helping them get clear on where they should be heading. It means giving them insights on what they should focus on to get there.

It means keeping in touch and adding value as they get closer to making a decision.

Then when they finally become a “hot lead”, you'll be the person they turn to. You'll be the bridegroom they've built a relationship with, not the sleazy guy trying to chat them up when it's all too late.

It takes courage to invest in building relationships over time like this. Confidence that it will pay off. And the strength to hold off from desperately chasing hot leads.

But it's far, far more effective.

Of course, it begs the question…how do I start relationships with potential clients on the right foot in the first place?

That's the subject of next week's email because, frankly, most people do it horribly wrong…

See you then…