A couple of years ago I wrote an article called “How to turn old contacts into new clients”.

(You can read it here by the way)

The point of the article is that our old contacts who already know and trust us can be a great source of new business or referrals. But unfortunately, because we've not been in touch for a while, we often don't know how to reconnect. Or we feel too embarrassed.

The article shows a bunch of ways you can reconnect even if you've been out of touch for months or years.

But recently I was asked by a coaching client:

“What happens if you've not seen them for 5 years or more – and you want to ask them a favour?”

That's a fairly extreme case. But not at all uncommon.

I thought about it for a while, but in the end, my answer was simple.

“Be straight with them”.

What I've found is that rather than saying you're calling for a made-up reason, then working the conversation round to asking for the favour – it's far better just to be honest.

If you try to twist or manipulate conversations it's often pretty transparent and your old contact realises you're just contacting them for a favour. Yet you didn't come clean about it.

It's better just to say something like:

“Hi John – long time no speak.

John, this is a bit embarrassing – I know we've not been in touch for ages, but I'd like to ask your advice if it's OK.

I noticed on Linkedin you're connected to Fred Smith. We've just written a benchmarking report on XYZ which I think Fred would benefit from.

If you were me, how would you go about getting a copy to Fred?”

So here's what you're doing.

You're being completely honest – and apologising too.

And rather than asking for a big favour (e.g. “can you introduce me to Fred”) you're asking for John's advice.

That's just a small favour – in keeping with the relationship you have with him.

(It's also pretty flattering to be asked for your advice too).

You're not putting John on the spot and asking him for a recommendation or an introduction. So he can give you his advice without feeling pressured.

And most of the time, if he knows Fred well enough, he'll offer to make an introduction anyway.

If he can't, he'll suggest something else you could do.

But the key is you've been straight with him. And you haven't asked for too much.

Are there any old contacts you could be reconnecting with?

I'm betting the answer is yes. And I'm betting if you did reconnect it could lead to new opportunities.

Take a look at the article and see some of the ways you can reconnect without embarrassment.