Linkedin is a great tool for professionals with lots of useful features for finding new high potential people to connect with. You can use searches, check the contact lists of the people you know well, or monitor activity on the “newsfeed”.

But when you do identify someone you'd like to connect when, my advice is DON'T use Linkedin's “connect” button.

It sends a hugely impersonal message asking your common contacts to connect you by pushing some buttons and sending on a cover note to your connection requests. Something they're probably unfamiliar with and so not 100% comfortable doing.

The standard connection request doesn't give you a chance to ask if they know them well and how they know them. It doesn't let you say why you want to connect or what value you'd bring to the connection.

Much better to actually phone your contact up and have a discussion. Or email them.

Ask how well they know this person you'd like to connect to. Tell them why you'd like to connect and how the other person would benefit. Ask their advice: “if you were me how would you go about connecting with them?”.

You're much more likely to get a result than sending a bog-standard connection request.

Funny story by the way: Linkedin seem to have changed the way the button works. It used to go to a second page with options. Now there's a drop down next to it and the button immediately sends the connection request with no tailoring.

Anyway, I was showing some clients a few tips on Linkedin at a training course. You can probably guess where this is going…

I showed them how to use the advanced search to find high potential contacts to connect with and then said “whatever you do, don't just hit this connect button….” just as I hit the connect button. And instead of going to a second page that I could quit from as expected, I got a little message saying my connection request had been sent.

I have to admit, a swear word came shooting out of my mouth. Luckily the client is a fun crowd and they just laughed rather than being offended.

I quickly shot off apology messages to the chief executive, managing partner and fellow consultants the message went to and thankfully they had a laugh about it.