Simple, Practical Strategies And Tools For Attracting And Winning More Clients

Get Free Client Winning Tips direct to your inbox:  

Rejection – sometimes it really is personal

44 Shares Twitter 30 Facebook 4 Google+ 1 LinkedIn 9 44 Shares ×

RejectionIt’s one of the oldest sayings in sales – “rejection isn’t personal”. But sometimes, more frequently than we’d care to admit, it really is personal. We all need to accept that sometimes people may just not like us or get on with us, and learn to live with that.

A while ago on one of Jeffey Gitomer’s newsletters I read a question by a reader which made me smile. The essence of the question was that if people buy from people they know, like and trust – then surely rejection really is personal?

Well, of course, there are many reasons why a prospect may not buy even if they know, like and trust you. An obvious reason being that the value of your product may not be right for them at this specific time – and Jeffrey answered by talking about this.

But the question itself got me thinking. Although rejection often isn’t personal, just repeating this mantra without thinking can cause us to overlook problems in the way we are selling.

Firstly, it may well be that we just aren’t being liked or trusted enough by our potential clients (or at least not enough of them).

While repeatedly questioning our own likeability or trustworthiness could drive us mad – we do need to take a step back every now and again to analyse whether there is something we are doing which is damaging our ability to be liked and earn the trust of our clients.

Secondly, we need to accept that even if we are doing nothing wrong – not everyone will like or trust us.

Our personal styles or other intangible factors will mean we just can’t be liked by everyone. In fact, people with a very strong personality – people who really inspire strong positive feelings in many people – are also likely to inspire strong negative feelings in others. It just goes with the territory. It’s probably better to be really loved by some and hated by others than it is to be viewed as OK by everyone.

More importantly, professionals (or people in any senior role) just can’t afford to need everyone to like them. In sales, we frequently have to push into areas outside our comfort zones in relationships.

We have to cold call prospects and risk them telling us where to go. We have to ask good customers for referrals and risk them feeling we are “using” them. We have to ask customers for the sale and risk rejection, or the customer feeling pressured.

Of course, there are ways to minimise the impact of these relationship “boundary stretches” by pre-positioning the customer that you will be asking for referrals later for example, or warming up the cold call.

Nonetheless, these techniques won’t work 100% of the time. An effective professional must be prepared to take calculated risks and to suffer pushback and rejection. And let’s not kid ourselves – sometimes it will be very clear that the rejection is personal – you have pushed an existing relationship a bit too far, or tried to initiate one with a prospect who just wasn’t ready.

Rather than pretending that it wasn’t personal we must get over our need to be loved by everyone. We must do our best, but at the end of the day some people just won’t like us.

If we can’t get over our need to be loved, we won’t take the “risks” or be bold enough to do what’s needed in sales – to make the calls, ask for the referrals or close the sale. A life lived in cotton wool can be comforting and risk free – but it’s not the life of a successful professional.

Onward!

Ian

44 Shares Twitter 30 Facebook 4 Google+ 1 LinkedIn 9 44 Shares ×

Enjoyed This Blog Post? Get Free Updates And More…

Get my very best tips and strategies to help you attract and win more clients. Sign up below.
Get Free Instant Access >>
  • Pingback: Sales Excellence » The Impossible Question - What Makes a Good Salesperson?

  • http://newenglandmultimedia.com Michelle Quillin

    “If we can’t get over our need to be loved, we won’t take the ‘risks’ or be bold enough to do what’s needed in sales – to make the calls, ask for the referrals or close the sale. A life lived in cotton wool can be comforting and risk free – but it’s not the life of a successful salesperson.”

    Ian, great post. Thank-you for writing it!

    I remember when Scott first started New England Multimedia back in the 90′s. He had to start building the business by making cold calls. I tried it for a day and decided it wasn’t for me — I took every rejection personally. Scott, however, saw every rejection as an opportunity to tweak and adapt his message. That was the key.

    Today, 100% of our sales inquiries for websites and video come via referrals or internet searches. We don’t close every deal, but we close plenty, and stay very busy! Our mantra is, “Not everyone is going to be our client.” It’s sometimes harder to believe than to say, but it’s the truth. Of course, we must always be willing to grow, and to examine ourselves. Unless we can put our egos aside and get outside of our comfort zones, we’ll never be able to do the hard work of change that’ll take us to the next level!

    Michelle Quillin for New England Multimedia
    Twitter: @NEMultimedia

  • http://ianbrodie.com Ian

    Thanks you for your very insightful comment Michelle. “Unless we can put our egos aside and get outside of our comfort zones, we’ll never be able to do the hard work of change that’ll take us to the next level!” – you’ve definitely hit the nail on the head.

    Ian

  • Pingback: How I Escaped My Certain Fate… | Il Commerciale - The Salesman

Previous Post:

Next Post:

44 Shares Twitter 30 Facebook 4 Google+ 1 LinkedIn 9 44 Shares ×